Any situation you put yourself in has a cost. Money, embarrassment, physical pain, health issues, etc; But what can they bring back to you? Are these temporary setbacks to you?
What is at Stake?
Now that we have assessed where we are, who the players of the game are, it’s time to determine what is at stake, or our risk management.
Every interaction you have is built on progression. Rapport with your co-workers, initial conversations with a potential employer, someone you met at a bar who you might want to build romantic relationships with; there will always be a need for value and cost.
The stakes can be low like social embarassment when someone declines you in front of their friends, or it can be the loss of a job opportunity because of a flub or a miscalculation, or you could commit a social faux-pas that puts you on bad terms with your co-workers.
There will always be something that can be lost, but even when you lose there is something to gain. Information, new strategies, confirmation on things you tried that didn’t work out.
It’s important for you to identify these. We’re not asking that you learn and understand them completely every time you do something wrong. But fixating your outlook not on the defeat but the opportunity that was lost and the information that was gain will help shift your ability to change and adapt to a better future.